You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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