I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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