Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
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