Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
