your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize