so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
