I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Someone came in the potted fern
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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