and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
