He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
