I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize