spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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