Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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