Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
