Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
