Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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