I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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