Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this will be a night to untag.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
