you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
