It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
how drunk are you?
Several
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
