3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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