He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
