Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
