he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
