If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
