i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize