For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
