he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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