He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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