The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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