Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize