By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
