It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
