did you get engaged???
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
