Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
