I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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