I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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