I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
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