people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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