If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
