I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
