I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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