a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
