I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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