just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
