don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize