Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I have fence marks all over my body
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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