is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
