Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
