What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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