Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
