i just google imaged poop.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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