I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
be right there i have to get my cape
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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