Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
