Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I AM VODKA MAN
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
