I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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