I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
There's even glitter on my cock...
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