The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
