You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
