So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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