i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
