i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She's the barista slut.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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